My blog is semi-private; I try not to use names or give overtly self-identifying information, but I’ve also shared the blog with many friends and family ‘IRL’. This means that I sometimes have to make difficult decisions about what and when to share things on the blog…
Like when we find out that we’re pregnant.
On Tuesday (10 dpo), I decided to take a pregnancy test. No line. Or maybe a whiff of a line. Could easily be residual trigger shot.
On Wednesday (11 dpo), same thing. Maybe a bigger whiff. Or maybe I was deluding myself.
On Thursday (12 dpo), same. Definitely not pregnant. But when I set it next to the previous two, and squint at it, I kind of see a line. I tell C. “Hey, we’re probably not pregnant, but there’s a whiff of a line. Pretty sure it should be darker at 12 dpo. It’s probably nothing, but I thought you should know.”
On Friday (13 dpo), there is a very faint line. Darker than the previous line, but lighter than I think it “should” be. I decide to use one of the expensive First Response tests. There is definitely a line. At work, I decide to email the nurse practitioner and Dr. Y to see if I should do the blood test a day early. Both reply and say I should.
10 dpo (top) through 14 dpo (bottom)
In between afternoon meetings, I drive to Kaiser for a blood draw. Juan-the-phlebotomist draws my blood and explains that a courier will come and deliver my sample to the nearby hospital for testing, and I should get results in 2-3 hours. After drawing my blood, he lines the tape with a piece of gauze for pain-free removal later, and folds the tape into a little tab to make it easy to pull off. On my way out, I tell the receptionist that Juan is the absolute best phlebotomist I’ve ever had. I return to work and to my meetings.
After my meeting, I check my email and see that there is a new test result. My HCG is 66 mIU/mL. I check on betabase.info. It’s slightly below the median value for 13 dpo, but well within the expected range. I click on a link and discover for the first time that betabase has histograms of beta values for each day past ovulation! My beta value is comfortably in the middle of the distribution.
So, we’re pregnant.
Conventional wisdom says that we should wait to tell people, but how long?
- Until we get a few beta values and see that the doubling rate looks reassuring?
- Until we see a heartbeat?
- Until we get a ‘normal’ genetic test result?
- Until we pass the first trimester?
We know better than most that none of those things are a guarantee of a healthy baby at the end. So do we wait until the baby’s out? Probably not practical.
I thought of a scene from an episode of Speechless. (If you haven’t seen this show, go watch it on Hulu, or abc.go. It’s adorable – like Malcolm in the Middle with a special needs kid.)
In the scene, the dad on the show (his name is Jimmy) is explaining to his middle son why he doesn’t care what other people think, and says that after getting the news that his oldest son will never walk and do other stuff, and then making it through and seeing that same son grow into an incredibly cool person…he’s kind of like, what’s the worst that can happen? Here’s the full scene:
I feel kind of like Jimmy. If we tell everybody we’re pregnant after the first pregnancy test, what’s the worst that can happen? We lose the baby and have to tell everybody our sad news?
At this point, we’ve shared awful news with our friends and coworkers and family and bloggy friends. We (and they) survived.