15 weeks, C’s Birthday and SoCal IVF Clinics on the radio

Today marks 15 weeks along for this pregnancy. It feels good to be well out of the first trimester, but also a bit anticlimactic, since we know all too well that it doesn’t guarantee a healthy baby at the end.

This is one of those thoughts that I have frequently, but generally try to keep to myself so as not to bum everybody out. For example, last weekend, at a kid birthday party, I met another mom of a three-year-old. Shortly after establishing that we were both expecting babies this fall, she made a seemingly innocuous observation, “Isn’t pregnancy so much less stressful the second time around? The first time I was worried about everything, but this time, I just get to relax and enjoy it.”

I felt like I was in a sitcom where I can picture the outcome of either possible response:

“Well, actually, this is my fourth pregnancy; most recently, my daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks last July, so no, I don’t actually feel less stressed this time around.”

Um. Probably not the best way to make a new friend.

<<<SCREECH!!! Rewinding video footage…>>>

“Isn’t pregnancy so much less stressful the second time around?…”

“Mmm hmm. C. Samuel keeps us very busy this time around.”

It wasn’t technically a lie, but it also didn’t drop a giant shit on the day of someone who was just trying to make polite conversation at a kids’ party.

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In other news, C. Samuel turned 3 last week. Here are some obligatory cute pics from last weekend:

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Happy boy at his birthday party, wearing his “birthday hat”

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Riding his new bike on the boardwalk

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Sharing his toys with Jane on Memorial Day

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Lastly, while driving home today from Discount Tires, I got sucked into an episode of Reveal on my local public radio station, and ended up sitting in my carport for 40 minutes to hear the rest.

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I don’t understand why my tire blew out yesterday?! (C. took this pic of one of my ‘good’ tires, post blowout…)

The episode was about a highly suspicious IVF clinic in LA, and talked about the issue of inflating SART stats, in particular by putting in two or more embryos in young (under 35-years-old) moms without a prior history of failed IVF cycles.

The story certainly wasn’t perfect. (Most notably, I didn’t feel like they fully considered the financial pressures on couples that choose a multiple embryo transfer on their first try.) But it hit on several important ethical concerns that arise as a result of trying to sell services for something so emotionally-charged, expensive, and with such an uncertain outcome.

I also liked the fact that in the radio version (though not in the written article), they presented the head RE at our IVF clinic, Reproductive Partners, as a model of ethical practice (not that it applied to us, since we never made it transfer).

Here’s a written version of the story:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.revealnews.org/article/when-pregnancy-dreams-become-ivf-nightmares/amp/