15 weeks, C’s Birthday and SoCal IVF Clinics on the radio

Today marks 15 weeks along for this pregnancy. It feels good to be well out of the first trimester, but also a bit anticlimactic, since we know all too well that it doesn’t guarantee a healthy baby at the end.

This is one of those thoughts that I have frequently, but generally try to keep to myself so as not to bum everybody out. For example, last weekend, at a kid birthday party, I met another mom of a three-year-old. Shortly after establishing that we were both expecting babies this fall, she made a seemingly innocuous observation, “Isn’t pregnancy so much less stressful the second time around? The first time I was worried about everything, but this time, I just get to relax and enjoy it.”

I felt like I was in a sitcom where I can picture the outcome of either possible response:

“Well, actually, this is my fourth pregnancy; most recently, my daughter was stillborn at 41 weeks last July, so no, I don’t actually feel less stressed this time around.”

Um. Probably not the best way to make a new friend.

<<<SCREECH!!! Rewinding video footage…>>>

“Isn’t pregnancy so much less stressful the second time around?…”

“Mmm hmm. C. Samuel keeps us very busy this time around.”

It wasn’t technically a lie, but it also didn’t drop a giant shit on the day of someone who was just trying to make polite conversation at a kids’ party.

***

In other news, C. Samuel turned 3 last week. Here are some obligatory cute pics from last weekend:

IMG_7023

Happy boy at his birthday party, wearing his “birthday hat”

IMG_1249

Riding his new bike on the boardwalk

IMG_0731_ed

Sharing his toys with Jane on Memorial Day

***

Lastly, while driving home today from Discount Tires, I got sucked into an episode of Reveal on my local public radio station, and ended up sitting in my carport for 40 minutes to hear the rest.

IMG_6857.JPG

I don’t understand why my tire blew out yesterday?! (C. took this pic of one of my ‘good’ tires, post blowout…)

The episode was about a highly suspicious IVF clinic in LA, and talked about the issue of inflating SART stats, in particular by putting in two or more embryos in young (under 35-years-old) moms without a prior history of failed IVF cycles.

The story certainly wasn’t perfect. (Most notably, I didn’t feel like they fully considered the financial pressures on couples that choose a multiple embryo transfer on their first try.) But it hit on several important ethical concerns that arise as a result of trying to sell services for something so emotionally-charged, expensive, and with such an uncertain outcome.

I also liked the fact that in the radio version (though not in the written article), they presented the head RE at our IVF clinic, Reproductive Partners, as a model of ethical practice (not that it applied to us, since we never made it transfer).

Here’s a written version of the story:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.revealnews.org/article/when-pregnancy-dreams-become-ivf-nightmares/amp/

Advertisements
Leave a comment

9 Comments

  1. Wow time flies, 15 weeks already?!. Happy bday C! Glad to hear from you.

    Reply
  2. Jane Allen

     /  June 4, 2017

    I’ve had a few moments where I’ve pretended that I didn’t have fertility and pregnancy issues just so I didn’t scare off potential mom friends.
    Intersting article, at first I thought the issue was just a failure to transfer anything, but that was a very shady city cover up.

    Reply
    • Right?! Totally sketch! I was actually afraid they were going to say he was inflating his stats by using donor eggs without patient consent, which would have been pretty terrible too.

      I found it interesting to read about the increased risks with twin pregnancies. I knew there were risks, but I had no idea how significant. I definitely suspect that those risks are not being adequately communicated by many REs. Given how complex and expensive infertility treatment is, truly informed consent must be especially tough to achieve in the field. I imagine as both a patient and practitioner, you must have an interesting perspective on this!

      Reply
  3. Ugh, that article is totally sketch. When we thought we’d have to do IVF that was one of the big things our clinic talked about in their required seminar — the risks of multiple pregnancy, and the importance of SET. They even published the SED statistics. I was totally on board, since I do NOT want an increased risk of late pregnancy loss after already going through one. But articles like this make me realize that not every IVF center is so conscientious. It’s a scary world of reproductive medicine out there. The story about the unanesthetized D&C is horrific.

    But, on the bright side, congrats on 15 weeks! C Samuel is completely adorable as birthday boy. I’m so glad that everything seems to be going so smoothly so far.

    And, I hear you about how it’s so hard to decide when to talk about your losses. Ugh. You get the choice between feeling like you’re dishonoring your daughter’s memory to be polite or inserting a huge downer into a conversation with a stranger who might think you’re oversharing and weird. There’s no winner here.

    Reply
  4. Whoa, I’m totally familiar with that clinic and their aggressive marketing, and our RE is quoted in the article.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: