I’ve been feeling optimistic all day that this month is our month. It’s kind of cool, because it’s the first I’ve felt optimistic in awhile. I hadn’t admitted it out loud, but ever since our diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve, C. and I seemed to be moving toward acceptance of the fact that we would need donor eggs in order to get pregnant… Anyway, it’s probably just wishful thinking, but I’m going to enjoy this feeling, however short-lived it may be.

In that spirit, here’s my list of reasons to be optimistic that this will work:

  • I’ve been dutifully taking my baby aspirin, CoQ10 (1200 mg), fish oil (1000mg), prenatal vitamins, and calcium (presumably upping the odds of nice, healthy, energetic eggs).
  • I’m on progesterone suppositories (that should help make a cushy uterine lining for my eggs to burrow into).
  • Despite his pain meds, C. gave an awesome sperm sample for the turkey basting (78 million swimmers, concentrated down to 30 million ‘winners’ who were direct-injected into the back of my uterus).
  • My plumbing got a good flushing during the HSG last month (only supposed to make a slight difference the month it happens, but as long as I’m being optimistic, I’m going to allow the possibility of a residual effect this month.)
  • Thanks to the injections, we had two good-looking eggs that presumably dropped (doubling the odds that one might actually be good relative to any other month).
  • The turkey baster – plus a bonus low-tech deposit the day after – should guarantee that there were swimmers around to welcome the eggs when they dropped.
  • I am 34. (Doctor said better to have my crappy hormone levels and be 34, than have my crappy hormone levels and be 42…even though my crappy hormone levels at 42 would make me more normal…)
  • I’ve cut back on coffee (<= 1 caffeinated cup per day) and alcohol (only one small glass since basting).
  • I’ve been uncharacteristically relaxed for this time in the school year (since C.’s accident, I’ve been accepting help from anyone who offered, and unafraid to say ‘no’ to annoying requests!)
  • C. and I are closer than ever, and I’m more convinced than ever that we would make fantastic parents.
  • I’ve been stocking up on ‘baby karma points’ by helping out a fertile friend on days when her husband is unavailable. I watch her baby girl (born just a couple weeks after the due date for our ill-fated pregnancy) while she puts her energetic 3-year old to bed.
  • Surely there must be some people who get pregnant on their first IUI (15-20%, if Dr. Google is correct), why not us?
  • I am just getting the hang of this whole infertility blogging thing, and will lose all my ‘street cred’ as an infertile if I get pregnant on the first IUI! (Does reverse psychology work on embryos?)

So there you have it! This could be our month. Fingers crossed!