When to try again

And now we arrive at the last of our unpleasant decisions following Jane’s passing:

Decision 10: When to try again.

By way of background for those of you who are new to my blog: three years ago, after an early miscarriage followed by 6 months of unsuccessful trying on our own, I was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. I’m a non-responder to stims, having produced only a single egg during medicated IUI, and IVF cycles. Miraculously, we conceived our first rainbow baby C. Samuel spontaneously in between IVF cycles. After C. Samuel was born, we decided to try for #2 via natural cycle IUI. On the sixth month of this, we conceived Jane Margaret.

Some conclusions from our adventures in infertility:

  • I have precious few good eggs left. (One of my doctors predicted that I would go through menopause before age 40…I’ll be 38 next month.)
  • I consistently ovulate one (and only one) egg per month, with or without stims.
  • When we’ve been lucky enough to have one of C’s supersperm catch a good egg, the babies that result are beautiful and perfect (though I can’t say the same for the resulting placentas).  😦

Contrast that with the following advice re: trying again after stillbirth:

  • The American Pregnancy Association recommends waiting several months up to a year to try again after a stillbirth.
  • Dr. R recommended waiting 3-6 months before trying again.
  • Dr. R mentioned a study suggesting that shorter time between pregnancies may be correlated with shorter umbilical cords (part of Jane’s perfect storm), though she acknowledged that the study wasn’t especially compelling.

Having discussed all of these considerations and more, C and I quickly agreed on a decision:

We want to try again as soon as possible! 

We both find the egg scarcity argument more compelling than the emotional self-care concerns. What if I ovulate my last good egg on one of the months that we’re “waiting to try”?!

As it happens, my own body forced a bit of a compromise, since it took 11 weeks for my period to come back after Jane’s passing. My bitchy Aunt Flo showed up on Friday, and on Saturday I got my blood drawn to repeat my CD3 (in this case CD2) bloodwork. Unlike last time, my FSH went in the wrong direction (up to 17.7 mIU/mL). :/

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At least C. Samuel is optimistic. He busted this song out during a recent visit to Ong Ba’s (Grandma & Grandpa’s) house. Neither C nor I had ever heard it before.

 

The Rainbow Song lyrics:

Red orange yellow green blue purple,

red orange yellow green blue purple,

red orange yellow green blue purple,

makes the rainbow bright bright bright!

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[Deep breath] Here we go again.

Can we possibly have enough luck left over for another miracle?